Mike Kosta Wears Noise Cancelling Headphones When He Jerks Off

MIKE KOSTA IS FUCKING HILARIOUS! Hailing from Michigan, this man is an intolerable dickhead in every sense of the word and it's absolutely magnificent. He explains why it's calming to wear his noise cancelling headphones while he strangles his yogurt slinger.

I personally enjoy pumping "Sounds From The Vatican" through my 500 Watt speakers while I take ol' one eye to the optometrist. The crowd goes ballistic when the old bastard shows his pleather mug over the balcony. The cheers and whistles provide the massive amounts of encouragement I need to cover up the overall shame. Especially if I'm on number 4 for the day.

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Michael Kosta - Should Be More Professional
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Couldn't help myself. Had to throw in a bonus clip about his "steakhouse date" with a vegan because it makes me happy.

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Michael Kosta - Steakhouse Date
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Let's be honest. Being a vegan is fucking weird. But I'll tell you what's weirder: This fucking video showcasing the new rage in body art: 3-D Tattoos.




REALLLLLLLLLY???? You set that video to Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistible", that's SIMPLY amazing.

I'll tell you what's not amazing, the :50 second mark with the douche-mitten who has a 3-D tarantula on his shoulder. Can you get possibly get anymore fucked up?

I've haven't been that creeped out since the magician at my 4th grade birthday party pulled a dead rabbit out of his hat. They can't survive in there you DICKS! If I've said it once I've said a thousand times, A TOP HAT IS NOT A BUNNY'S NATURAL HABITAT! It's the equivalent of a dark well to a kindergartner. 10 times out of 10 you're pulling out a carcass. Murder isn't magic.