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Salad is for fucking hippies and gymnasts. And by the time you get done dressing it up with croutons and globs of ranch you might as well just inhale a large pepperoni
anyways. "Um, I'll just have a salad, and could you just put a baby pig right on top of it please? You don't have chocolate milk dressing do you? I know some places don't carry it. No? Okay, then I'll just have a side of oven grease and a Snickers."
The only thing unhealthier than a Snickers is this lady's sex life....
What an absolute looney toon. You've gotta be shitting me! I wish I had seen this video a lot sooner. I didn't even know that loneliness was capable of reaching this setting. It's in FUCKING OVERDRIVE. The best part is the 2:08 mark when she says that she prefers the home shopping network because her health doesn't really permit her to "run around the the mall anymore." How fucking healthy do you have to be to go to the mall? Half the people I see there are either fat fuck teenage girls crying because they can't seem to slither that coffee cake body into anything at Wet Seal, or the elderly walking around with oxygen tanks and a grocery list...
"Excuse me sonny, could you tell me where the plums are?"
"Ummmmm yea they're at the supermarket, Nana. Guess where you are? The fucking Westside Galleria! Open a goddamn map book mother nature, you're standing in a Filene's Basement!"
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