How the fucking christ do you lose a 254 million dollar powerball ticket? This guy is the absolute epitome of douchebaggery. The dumbest part of this story isn't even that he lost the ticket, it's the fact that he was a big enough fucking nimrod to actually ADMIT to losing the ticket. That's a secret you take directly to your grave. You put that information in your back pocket...EXACTLY where you should have kept that FUCKING TICKET in the first place, you forgetful twat scab.
This story sickens me to my core. I'm a ball of emotion. Anger. Confusion. Sadness. I don't understand how you can be this much of a forgetful dickhead and still make it through life. On the one hand, I want to cut the guy some slack. He's a garbage man for fuck's sake. When you throw things away for a living I suppose it's understandable that you might accidentally trash something that wasn't meant to be trashed. But on the other hand, I want to take a flaming sledgehammer to his abdomen. You threw away a quarter of a billion dollars, fuckstick! His friends are completely within their rights to give him shit for eternity. Even after he dies his funeral burial should go something like this:
"Well, Jerry what can we say, You were a hardworker. A great husband. A loving father, and a tremendous friend. We had a very nice headstone picked out for you, but it's the damndest thing, we can't seem to find it. We've looked all over and son of a bitch, we must have MISPLACED it. The Cemetary operator told us "no headstone, no grave" so you're S.O.L., pal. Instead of buying another one, we've decided to prop your body up in an old porta-potty and push it off a cliff with a bulldozer. Rest in peace you broke, bitter, son of a bitch."
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