Metro.com - Artist and taxidermist Alison Brierley has found herself craving feasts of roadkill as a result of her pregnancy. The 42-year-old has been eating an array of animals killed along her local roads in Harrogate, North Yorkshire. Brierley often used her roadkill to make jewelery from their hides, but now the mum-to-be has gone full throttle with her new diet. "Usually I eat really healthily but now I'm pregnant I get strong cravings for roadkill", explained Brierley, "It's more gamey than other meat and I love the taste. I also don't have to feel guilty about eating it because I know it's had a completely free range and natural life."
Ms Brierley has eaten hare, deer, pigeon, rabbit and owls, with pheasant being the
most prevalent of her dishes. "I would like to try fox and badger but they're never in good enough condition to eat; although I have used them for my artwork" said Brierley. The 42-year-old admitted she has even hosted roadkill dinner parties for friends. "They trust me and they know I'm a good cook so I think they love it. I get the best meat from friends who ring me up to tell me about a kill they've spotted on their way to work", she added. Eating fresh roadkill is something close to Brierley's heart as she believes in an alternative food lifestyle.
"One of the big reasons for being public about this is that I want to raise awareness about where food actually comes from", said Alison. "Some people are so blasé about picking their food off a supermarket shelf without giving a thought to how it lived or how it was killed."
Needless to say, this is one of the most fucking bizarre stories I've ever heard. I knew pregnant bitches erred on the side of insanity but this kicks it up to a brand new level. Roadkill? You shittin' me, honey? Have you lost your goddamn mind? Forget about your cravings for a second and think about what you're feeding your unborn child! Dead pheasant, mutilated pigeon, tire-tracked skunk...Your kids gonna come out of the womb with the killer instincts of a ravenous mountain lion. You can't force feed him smashed otter during childhood and expect him to grow up and humanely settle for a Greek salad and an Evian water for lunch in front of his co-workers. He's gonna be sitting in the board room and literally leap out the window in full attack mode if a tasty Blue Jay happens to float by on a lovely spring day.
"Sir, Johnson just growled and viciously lunged at a bird. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're really just uncomfortable with him working here at this point."
My favorite part of the story is that she admits to hosting roadkill dinner parties. Who the fuck are her guests, the Berenstain bears? The poor bastard husbands of this bitch's close friends. The mere mention of her name and I'd be jumping off a cliff.
"Honey, Alison invited us over for Sunday dinner."
"No way. That bitch is crazy. Last time we ate there, we ended up in the emergency room for 13 hours. I chipped a tooth on a porcupine collarbone and I didn't get off the shitter until Christmas Eve. Fuck roadkill dinners and fuck your hippie friend."
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