Apparently this raving lunatic thinks Jesus is stuffin' her pew on the hood of a cherry red rice rocket on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. Crazy? Maybe. Impossible? Maybe not. Let's call a spade a spade, the good lord is a true miracle worker, and it would take nothing short of JUST THAT for anybody to even consider fucking this Sears-sweater-wearing jumbo turd. Way to take one for team big guy! We've all had to fall on grenades in our day, but I'd probly rather swallow one than even have my dick in the same ten yard radius as this boner murderer. She's like pecker euthanasia.
It looked like she thoroughly enjoyed herself. I've never heard a girl just straight up yell that loud, not just during sex, like, just plain in general. She could make a handsome living as a ballpark cotton candy vendor. Tell me you wouldn't buy cotton candy from this bitch. Everyone and their mother would be too scared shitless not too. I'd buy the whole cloud if it would get this nutjob to leave me alone.
On the flipside, did it not cross her mind for one second that it could have just as easily been the devil? What made her think Hey-zeus is even that much of a stallion in the sheets? You ask any girl who she'd rather bang, Jesus or the devil, and that coin is comin' up El Diablo 250% of the time. Jesus probly moans the Hail Mary and makes out with his eyes open, while ol' two horns is suckin' toes and ticklin' buttholes. Shootin' razor sharp fire loads and pitchforking pussy. I know it might come as a gut punch to some of the religious fanatics out there, but Jesus just isn't even pleasuring women on the reg, nevermind having sex with them. Sorry. No ones gotten laid in Birkenstocks sideburns were big.
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