Japanese Zoo Keepers Practice Rhino Escape Drills And It's Very Ridiculous

Sorry I'm not sorry for the indulgent word play but if a full grown rhinoceros escapes your zoo, you've got more problems than you can shake a stick at.

This is basically like one of those NASA flight simulators. No matter how many times you practice your mission in a controlled environment nothing at all prepares you for actually going to SPACE. Same principal applies here. These zookeepers can stage a rhino evasion til' the cows come home but if one of those bad larry's actually fucking breaks loose they are all monumentally fucked. Rhinos weigh what, like 7,000 pounds? And have the strength of 60 deadlifting Mr. Universes with a horn that could put a wrecking ball sized hole in stone wall even at medium speed. Their shitty paper mache rhino is moving slower than a DMV line and is about as powerful as a dead battery.

Isn't it time to break out the heavy artillery. Hand grenades, bazookas, bushels of dynamite. Why the fuck are they tapping yardsticks at its feet? Threatening to break one it's fingernails? That's how you subdue a rhino, ruin his manicure? This is by far the most outlandish animal escape drill of all time. If a rhino escapes and I'm anywhere within a 4 block radius I'm putting a shotgun in my mouth and just getting it over with, because it's fucking doomsday. Put the broomsticks down and start scheduling your wake.

P.S. Why are they even practicing with a rhino. Aren't drills supposed to prepare for the "worst case scenario? What happens if a lion cuts loose? Break out the squirt guns and the silly string, let's take this big kitty down baby!