Skiing is fun. Teaching someone to ski is not. I lack a fundamental human element - patience, so for me, teaching someone to ski is about as possible as teaching Zach Morris not to wear high tops. I tried to teach my girlfriend to ski recently and between the crying, the screaming, the quivering, the name calling, the biting, the hitting, and the dirty looks I was ready to willingly stand in front of a firing squad. I felt like I was literally torturing someone. That should be a certified CIA tactic. The next time we capture and bring in some stubborn Ruskie spy for questioning, forget the bamboo chutes and the waterboarding just ask him if he knows how to ski. If he says no, buy the bastard a fucking lift ticket...oh he'll start talkin', alright.
I had the same tactic as this dad. Just keep yelling "PIZZA, PIZZA!!!" It just doesn't help much. It'd be like a pilot teaching me how to fly and just yelling "BREAD PUDDING!, BREAD PUDDING." It doesn't mean anything to them at all. This kid took the ultimate digger. I'm pretty sure he knocked all his fucking teeth out. His face was bloodier than the stool of a colon cancer patient. This kid is a big pussy anyways. Hey dad, wake up and smell the coffee. It's time to trade those skis in for a tutu.
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