Chad Daniels' Daughter Has Big Ol' Balls

Funny man Chad Daniels unveils a father's ultimate goal--to keep his daughter away from the abortion clinic. Truer words have never been spoken.



I recently found out that today's teens have a new verb for "getting an abortion" and its now referred to as "getting hoovered"--like the fucking vaccuum! Basically they think that when you go to the abortion clinic a doctor shoves a dustbuster up the girl's wagon wheel and sucks the unborn child straight out with the force of a dozen Dyson Balls.

Clearly this isn't true because Doctor's would never compromise their overly substantial income like that. Why would they simplify the procedure to the point where the maid could offer the same exact serivce for a quarter of the cost?

Girl walks into your house:

"Um, Jimmy, I'm pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I don't have the money to "take care of it" though."

"That's fine, Darla. How much do you have on you?"

"8 dollars in change."

*shouting to the next room* --"Hey Rosalita!! Will you come in here for a minute...And bring the Dirt Devil...And a pair of gloves...And two Glad bags! Don't worry Darla, we'll get this taken care of in a jif."

Speaking of nutbags, there's actually something I've got to unveil myself. I've been "sitting on" this video for a little bit now and I feel now is the appropriate time to put it out there for the masses. Enjoy the world's largest testicles!



I have no words. Only emotions. Sadness. Confusion. Delight. Trauma. Comfort. More delight.

This bastard is the luckiest duck on the planet. Uses his own coin purse as a beanbag chair? I'll give everyone a moment to wrap their head around how FUCKING AMAZING that really is.....................

I'd like to have him over for a dinner party and not have to set a place for him at the table.

"Hey Matt, what gives, there's no chair for Rick. Where's he going to sit?"

"You've clearly never met Rick."