8 Ft. Lego Man Washes Ashore.

Huffington Post – Somewhere out there, an enormous toy castle or spaceship is missing one of its pieces. Beach goers were baffled Tuesday when a massive castaway Lego man washed ashore on Sarasota’s Siesta Key. “It doesn’t make sense,” said Jeff Hindman, who found the eight-foot-tall, 100-pound fiberglass figure during his morning walk, according to the Herald Tribune. Hindman said he initially thought the Lego man was beached marine life, but when he dragged the statue out of the water and stood him up, Hindman discovered the ominous message “NO REAL THAN YOU ARE” across the front of the Lego shirt. The figure’s back reads “EGO LEONARD” and has the number eight. “I kind of think it’s from the UFO people, I really do,” one woman told local television station WTSP-10. Lego people actually wash up on beaches more often than you might expect, leading many news outlets to pin the stunt on Dutch artist Ego Leonard. In 2007, a Lego man appeared on the beach in Holland and a similar incident took place in England during 2008. Ego Leonard did not immediately respond to a request for comment by The Huffington Post, but did send the following message to the Herald Tribune: “I am glad I crossed over. Although it was a hell of a swim. Nice weather here and friendly people. I think I am gonna stay here for a while. A local sheriff escorted me to my new home.”



This Ego Leonard character better slow his goddamn role. He might be the weirdest fucking guy since Gary Busey. Something tells me it MIGHT ACTUALLY BE BUSEY under a shithead alias. He's just sitting in some off shore crack den warehouse constructing 8 ft. Lego men and sipping cyanide kool-aid with the rest of his hippie cult. If this IS some kind of crazy advertising campaign then Lego needs to pack it in ASAP. Kids aren't building plastic boats and spaceships these days assholes. They have cell phones, 3D porn, and plasmas. Talk about a trump card. Unless your Lego Man 2011 can auto-correct or jack you off then I say shelve the whole operation and start trolling Craigslist for chain restaurant waitstaff positions. Let this 8 ft. statue be a lesson to the company itself: You're all washed up.

So Google just informed me that Lego actually made like a billion dollars last year. Whatever, money is stupid anyway. *wipes bitter tears from chin*.