The Local – Controversial Swedish artist and former presenter of erotic TV, Ylva-Maria Thompson, is to teach Austrian couples about sexual relations, according to a report in an Austrian weekly. ”She is a very experienced teacher,” School spokesperson Melodi Kirsch told Austrian weekly News.At. According to the paper, Thompson will function as headmistress of the Austrian International School of Sex (AISOS) in Vienna, which will open its doors to students in mid-December. The school says it is pleased to be headed by Thompson, best known in Sweden for hosting erotic TV in the 80s and 90s and for her artwork Anonyma Exhibitionister (Exhibitionists Anonymous) where she cast a hundred Swedish women’s sexual organs. The school is offering five basic courses, as well as intensive courses and weekend seminars for those who feel they need extra tuition. The minimum age to enrol at the school is sixteen. According to the school’s website, the AISOS courses will cover both theory and practice, with an emphasis on practical training. Although the school, claiming to be Europe’s first school of sex, offers a curriculum which includes historical and modern sexual theory, the emphasis is on becoming a better lover. “Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features – these are the AISOS disciplines. And we teach you hands on,” the website reads. “We are confident that the school will be a great success. Ylva-Maria has worked for a long time on this idea and has received much encouragement and interest,” Kirsch told the Austrian paper. However, those that expect the school to be only fun and games, will be bitterly disappointed. At the end of each course exams must be passed and the cost of each term is €1,400 ($1,860).
Well this is just great. Like I don't have a hard enough time reeling in clam at the bar, now I have to compete with some asshole who has an actual "fucking" degree? Sure it's fine now while this craze is still new and not many chicks know about it. But what about in 5 or 10 years when this thing catches on like wildfire. Sucky Sucky School graduates are gonna be as common as 4 year college graduates. Getting a girl in bed is gonna basically REQUIRE this degree. Trying to get laid without your "drilling" diploma is gonna be like trying to get a job on Wall Street straight out of middle school. Being a regular old guy like myself who majored in Foreign Studies (still have no clue what I learned) instead of pounding ham wallet will be the equivalent of having a sexual 5th grade reading level.
On the flip side, if they're gonna run with this then just do away with regular college altogether. I think we'd all pay much more attention in class if we were just learning how to bird-dog bitches instead of reading about ancient Greece and balancing equations. Students would literally be glued to their seats. Am I right? If my homework was to go home and practice-fuck a jar of Smuckers, my report card would make the refrigerator every semester. It just sucks that pretty soon guys will be flashing diplomas at the bar and snatching girls up left and right and then there'll be me still trying to pull tail in the corner with my dance moves that usually evoke the phrase "It's that kid from last week, they let him back in?"
I mean, it definitely also sucks because just like universities today, there will end up being various respect levels for the different Fuck Schools. They'll be Ivy League Fuck Schools for the kids who are just straight up crushing it in the wrapper, and of course they'll be the Community College Fuck Schools for the kids who need viagra at age 19. Let's just say entrance exams will get a hell of a lot more fun. And let's be honest, THIS is the school that really matters, not some 4 year undergrad, shiny upper echelon institution. You may have done your academic studies at Princeton but if your going to Fuck School at ITT Tech, you might as well put a gun in your mouth.
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