Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Is Vaporizing Vodka Shots A Good Idea

Well now that the holidays are over and done with and everyone is a bloated carcass from goin HAM on wine and cake and beers and yams, we can get down to our New Year's resolutions. I don't know about everyone else, but amongst my littler ones such as quitting smoking, learning to better appreciate black porn, and striving to finally develop a taste for grapefruit, my big resolution is to NEVER take a vaporized vodka shot. I'm not just talking about in the year 2012, I mean for the rest of my life.



Wow. I know people are always looking for new ways to get fucked up, but can this really be the answer here buddy? First of all, what would even possess you to make a "how-to vaporize vodka" video in your unfinished basement. Not really reeling in the street cred you goddamn soccer hooligan. Try classing it up, maybe take us to a real science lab. I see a wooden table, some adequate, but not great skull and cross bones graffiti on the wall, and a couple bamboo cups from pottery barn, that I'm pretty sure are sold in a set of four, but knowin' this guy the other two are probly full of soil growing some weird strain of weed that doubles as a magic carpet when pulled out by its roots, because clearly this bastard is a bonafide GENIUS and is capable of pulling something like that off with ease.

Why the fuck are people even trying to alter the molecular structure of booze? It's perfectly fine the way it is. Stay in your lane is all I'm saying. If you're a drinker, then drink. If you're a smoker, then fucking smoke, if you're a pill popper then pop pop pop away. But make up your mind. I'm a drinker, but you don't see me running out and turning a handful of valium into maple syrup for my fucking flapjacks.

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