The World Burping Championships: It's Gonna Be A Gas

WorldBurpingFederation – The World Burping Federation, with headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland, oversees duration and decibel belching competitions in all G-8 nations, as well as in Brazil, India, Spain, Singapore, Maldives, and the Territory of Cocos (Keeling) Islands. The WBF has also established a focus group to explore the possibility of a “burp-talking” division. The WBF promotes belching best practices and the pursuit of lifelong learning, while also seeking to remove the stigma that has become associated with belching in recent centuries. With the exclusion of Bahrain, the last bastion in which a belch is considered a compliment, most cultures of the globe look down on burping and consider it to be rude. Burping is a fundamental part of the digestive process, and the near universal stigma surrounding it has planted the seeds of shame in countless number of people, contributing to a subtle, but significant, degradation of the human experience. By conducting a series of promotional belching competitions in nations throughout the world, the WBF hopes to usher in a new era when belching is accepted as it was in millennia past. World Burping Championship: 8 June, 2012, Hudson Station, NY, NY, USA –11 AM ET $500 Prize

It's pretty fucking amazing the things we actually give merit to these days. Spelling Bee's getting national attention, the fucking luge actually being an olympic event and now, ladies and gentlemen, burping! Something all human beings do as a natural bodily function like blinking or rubbing your eyes. I don't see people tipping their caps to hardcore eye rubbers: "Holy shit, that guy just rubbed his eyes for 3 hours straight. Gotta be a new record! God they must have been so itchy, I bet he was seeing all kinds of colors. He treated himself to a viewing of the Northern Lights!. Quick, cut him a check, suck his dick, and get him a plaque!" Everyone needs to calm down and stop being so easily impressed with useless skills. People will sit on a corner and watch a street performer juggle live babies and 5 pound celery stalks while on a pogo stick, and actually pay the bastard. Sheer lunacy. God, I hate street performers.

The kids in school who used to watch some dickhead burp the alphabet at the lunch table royally pissed me off. Like stop cheering for this kid. Something's fucking wrong with him. If he tried to do that during Witch Hunt days he'd be carried to the stake the next morning and promptly burned.

This asshole burping loudly is about as impressive as me having two nipples. The world burping federation's attempt to usher in a new era where belching is accepted is a little late. I burp all the time. You slug some soda and gotta heave one out, so be it. It's really not that bad. People do it all the time, and next to farting, burping pretty much looks like curing cancer. I think It's already accepted bros...Unless you're a hot chick...The second a hot chick lets out a deep blecherooski, it's automatically assumed that she probably has a lot of guy friends and has been passed around more than the wood-chip yams at a beaver Thanksgiving. Ugly girls- burp away! Nobody's gonna notice anyway.