Best Dancer Ever Banned From Bar For His Flagrant Moves

(Sun) -- A NEWCASTLE native has spoken of his sadness that his “wild” dancing has seen him barred from his favourite boozer.On most weekends Dave Cooper, 48, can be found performing his eye-popping routines in any number of pubs and clubs across the city. His unique style has seen him gain a legion of fans. But bouncers have banned Dave from his favourite bar Cosy Joes following complaints about his moves. The devastated groover said: “I’m just a crazy dancer. I get called Lethal Weapon by people because I’m wild. “I love to dance because I get frustrated with life. I don’t like fighting, I’m not a fighter so I dance. “Last weekend me and my mates went to go in Cosy Joes, where I’ve been going for ages, but the bouncers wouldn’t let us in.

I haven't seen an injustice this severe since I was kicked outta the Discovery Zone ball pit in 6th grade for showing some babes my belly button. I mean, come the fuck on, this guy is 48 years old and still moves like a wave tank on coke. Give credit where it's due! His moves are silkier than John Travolta's blouse collection. I can't understand how this fucking bro could bother anyone at all. If I was posted up watching this guy cut rug at the local bar I'd be applauding the shit out of him and asking for lessons.

People are just jealous. Our nation is full of absolutely brutal dancers. You walk into a bar, girls are on the dancefloor tossin' their tits around like herring at a Seattle fish market and stomping around in heels. You can't tell if they're on the verge of a temper tantrum or being chased in a circle by a demon skunk that they're hallucinating. Then you have the dudes out there, pumping their fists into mid air and clinging to bitches like Abercrombie saran wrap. It's fucking embarrassing. Dave Cooper is just using the skills that the good lord gave him. Clearly didn't give him looks. Got hosed on height. Jipped on popularity (he's at the bar alone). But he made out al-fucking-right in the groovin' department. D-Coop makes Justin Timberlake look like bowl of Raisin Bran.

I just can't believe they had the stones to ban this guy with little to no basis whatsoever. It's a bar for fuck's sake. The one place where dancing like this is not only acceptable but ENCOURAGED. I can't see getting kicked out of anywhere for dancing. Doesn't it automatically improve the general quality of life in any establishment? The bank, church, Pep Boys. If I walked into my daughter's bedroom and she was blowing The Situation and he started laying down with some ill dance moves, I would have no choice but to join in and get funky for at least 15 minutes before I got my gun.