Creepo Puppeteer wants to eat children...Oh, but first he wants to rape them. Solid guy.

DM – A children’s entertainer is alleged to have confessed to wanting to rape, kill and then eat a child. Ronald Brown made the horrific confession to a pedophile as they talked about what they would like to do with young children. The 57-year-old, who worked as a puppeteer, lusted after young children and spoke about his fantasy of killing and cooking the body parts of a young boy in an online chat room. According to an arrest affidavit Brown said he would like to tie the child up, store him in a closet and then eat him at Easter. He describes in graphic detail what he would do to the boy, how he would cut him up and says: ‘He would make a fine Easter feast.’ In another chat, Brown allegedly remarked how great summer time is because the children in his Florida neighborhood are ‘almost naked.’ In another thread, Brown remarked about how his ‘mouth watered’ while looking at a female toddler.

Shame on you Ronald Brown, you greedy little bastard. You can't have your cake and eat it to - sorry. You want to entertain, rape, kill AND eat a little boy? The nerve on this guy. Really upgrading to the Premium Gold Pedophile Package there Ronnie huh? Hittin' for the cycle. The whole kit n' kaboodle. Some just don't know when to be happy with what they've got. Putting on a puppet show, sodomizing, and then snuffing him out isn't gonna quench ol' Ron's thirst? Nope. He's gotta throw Timmy on the non-stick Foreman grill, and pair him nicely with some jasmine cous-cous? What a freak.

How the fuck are people still surprised when a puppet master plows a third grader? Why are cops waiting for puppeteer's to make a move on a kid before arresting them. The fact that they are a fucking PUPPETEER isn't enough? Like, what the hell else do you think they are doing, just putting on straight up, legitimate puppet shows, packing their shit up, going home to a beautiful wife and 3 kids, throwing a few logs on the fire and watching Miracle on 34th Street? Fuck no. They're taking kids backstage and playing the skin flute on their lower backs. We should be locking up puppeteer's all over the place just based on profession. Saying a puppeteer isn't hosting diddle-power-hour after parties is like saying Mario and Luigi weren't bangin' each other after their daily trips to Coin Star.

Here's a question I've pondered for a while, can puppeteers have sex with no strings attached?

*slaps knee, takes shot of Jack, keels over*