This Is The Most Whipped Husband On The Face Of The Earth

I remember thinking to myself when I saw the "home video" of my grandmother getting cataracts surgery - "this is definitely the queasiest I will ever fucking be." Welp, I was dead wrong. This video is sickening. I don't know what the hell this son of a bitch did to his wife to be forever indebted to her/cut his own sack off and present it to her in a jar, but it had to have been horrible. She must have walked in on him and her dad tag teaming her aunt Faye in the chapel bathroom 20 minutes before their wedding. This guy is completely without dignity. I'm not saying being an indentured servant to your wife isn't dignified. Shit, We're all gonna be there eventually. But making it public is INSANE. We all try to hide how whipped we are. Everyone knows the guy who acts like a hard ass on the phone with his chick in front of his friends:

"I fuckin' know the ham could burn if I don't come home to take it out of the oven. I'm not a fuckin' idiot, unlike you. However, I'm at the bar and I'm not ready to leave yet. I'll fuckin' leave when I'm ready to fuckin' leave. It's that simple. GOODBYE."

All his buddies are watching this like "yea, bro, tell that bitch what's up." Forty seconds after the phone call he says he's gonna run over to CVS real quick to grab some gum. Comes back a half hour later smelling like Boar's Head. We're no fools, but kudos for tryin' to hide it.

Making up a song about being a good daddy is pretty much lamer than being a bad daddy. If I was those kids I'd rather have daddy beat me with a shoe horn and put a cigarette out on my knee than make a hip hop song about picking up the dry cleaning. Brutal.