AARON KARO: THE REST IS HISTORY (EXCLUSIVE CLIP)

Here's a clip from Aaron Karo's hilarious new stand up special: The Rest Is History. The Long Island native is wicked fuckin' funny.

He talks about bringing work with you on vacation. I agree that this is a ruhtarded move. What pisses me off even more is the people that consider a work related conference or seminar at an out of state hotel, vacation. They get excited. They bring spouses and family members along. Then that poor bastard has to entertain him/herself while you have 8 hours of sitting in a large speech hall while some overpaid set of bitch-tits sits there and recounts his success story, and what it means to be part of the Speedy Tire Shop "family". Until they start holding volatile orgy and Oxycontin conferences, stop calling it a fucking vacation. It's not a getaway. It's a regret-away.

LAUGH NOW

Old School Greg Giraldo...

A small clip to remember the late, great Greg Giraldo from his 2000 30 minute Comedy Central special...I don't know Greg, I think a an illegal alien HAS taken one of my dream jobs.

I'm really jealous of the black tie wearing bathroom attendant who has the privilege of dispensing soap into ungrateful patron's hands.

It's one of the few jobs in the world that leads to ass backwards results. They are giving you paper towels and a fist full of Dove, making sure that you wash up adequately. Then, they expect you to dig you're pristine mitts into your dirty pocket and take out some filthy money to drop into their germ infested tip cup. Um, didn't you just wash my hands? Now you want me to touch the dirtiest thing on the planet...Money.

I know what you're gonna say, why not tip them before they wash your hands. No sir-ee Bob. That'll lead to them half assing the job, because they've already been compensated. It's a vicious circle. I think they should just starting reaching in our pockets for the tip money so we don't have to touch it. It's basically a form of stealing, which they should already be somewhat familiar with.

I didn't want to have to say JUST KIDDING, so at the risk of offending everyone, I won't...

ENJOY GIRALDO

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Greg Giraldo - Illegal Alien Investment Banker
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Patton Oswalt Clip From "My Weakness Is Strong"

Patton Oswalt is a frumpy little leprechaun...but he's funny so I'll cut him some slack for breaking into my house and lifting my Lucky Charms... This is a clip from his 2009 Comedy Central Special "My Weakness Is Strong", where he talks about the ridiculousness of texting and hopes his daughter inherits NONE of his traits whatsoever...As do I.

LAUGH NOW!

Throwback!

Greg "The Undisputed Roast Master" Giraldo has torn into some pretty sorry sacks of shit on the Comedy Central Roasts. I take personal pleasure in this particular one however, because I think we can all agree that Larry The Cable Guy is a shart stain on American culture. Watching him is like writing a suicide note after 30 shots of Cuervo...You're gonna wanna throw up before you kill yourself. His fat arms are made of coffee cake and his neck is redder than the lipstick ring that Lance Bass left around the tip of Clay Aiken's cock...

GIRALDO IS KING!