Sorely Missed

Greg Giraldo turns in an ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS 5 minutes...The guy was a legend. This is the first in slew of "Monthly Giraldo Tribute" posts...

Terrible tragedy. Hilarious Man.

LAUGH NOW!

Jeff Dye Feels Like A Pansy-Ass at Starbucks

Fun Fact: Jeff Dye came up on Last Comic Standing. Oh, and here's another fun fact: He dated model Sara Jean Underwood. What an asshole. But he's hilarious, and we have the same views on Starbucks employees making us feel like wet vaginas everytime we order a drink, so we love him.

LAUGH NOW!

Chappelle and Man Rape at the Laugh Factory

Chappelle talks "man rape" at the Laugh Factory...YES!

ENJOY!

Andy Ritchie Clearly Loves Male Models

The VERY FUNNY Andy Ritchie dishes on the smiles and frowns of ever illustrious male model. I've never understood the need for clothing companies to display their shit on handrail thin men thinking that will help sell. I don't want to see my future shorts on some 90 lb. twiggy bastard. I feel like he's not even modeling, he's wearing that 14 inch turtle neck to keep his filet-of-fish-looking-body warm, and Prada just happened to pop out of a bush and snap a candid. Cruel.

I'd be more apt to buy clothes if you displayed them on something else. Maybe hoist them up a flagpole like "Salute Your Shorts" and let them flap in the wind. You could throw that pocket sized male model on your back and the two of you could climb for your cashmere. That's got shop 'til you drop written all over it. Or at least shop 'til you drop a malnourished ghoul from 80 feet.

LAUGH NOW!!

Patrick Keane and the Potato Famine

Comedian Patrick Keane talks about the potato famine. I mean, yes that was a huge DISASTER. Epic, you might say. But another famine going on at the time went under the radar big time. The Irish pussy famine. With half the population dying of starvation coupled with the already monumental lack of hot Irish girls, it must have been a sexual dry spell like none other.

No girls to bang? No Potatoes to eat? How the hell are you supposed to get your rocks off.

It must have been a Dublin Double Handed Jerkoff Extravaganza. People just lubin' up with all that extra sour cream lying around.

I don't even know if that makes sense.

Steve Byrne - Cupcakes and Ponies

Great bit turned in by the HILARIOUS Steve Byrne. Cupcakes and Ponies off his 2010 Comedy Central Special "The Byrne Identity". Apparently he has a very difficult time believing women when they say "I love you." Understandable.

On the flip side I have a VERY EASY time telling women "I hate you." It really rolls off the tongue nicely.

"No reach-around tonight? I hate you."

"No pancakes for breakfast? I hate you."

"No shoes on in the house? I hate you."

"No beating off on top of the dresser? I hate you."

The only thing girls love more than cupcakes and ponies is a large fountain Coke. I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. But goddamn it, It's true.

LAUGH NOW!!

AARON KARO: THE REST IS HISTORY (EXCLUSIVE CLIP)

Here's a clip from Aaron Karo's hilarious new stand up special: The Rest Is History. The Long Island native is wicked fuckin' funny.

He talks about bringing work with you on vacation. I agree that this is a ruhtarded move. What pisses me off even more is the people that consider a work related conference or seminar at an out of state hotel, vacation. They get excited. They bring spouses and family members along. Then that poor bastard has to entertain him/herself while you have 8 hours of sitting in a large speech hall while some overpaid set of bitch-tits sits there and recounts his success story, and what it means to be part of the Speedy Tire Shop "family". Until they start holding volatile orgy and Oxycontin conferences, stop calling it a fucking vacation. It's not a getaway. It's a regret-away.

LAUGH NOW

Tom Rhodes Midget Cruiser

Good Ol' Tommy Rhodes. Guy's the tits. Really funny dude. He seems to think a PT Cruiser is a midget hearse. Loophole alert: Midgets don't die. I've never even heard of a midget death. They're like gnomes, they live for ever. What could go wrong in such a small body...All medical complications are contained, like a crib for disease. It's safe in there.

Due to a shifty size differential, you'd miss if you tried to shoot a midget, miss if you tried to swing a baseball bat at a midget, and miss if you tried to roll a boulder at a midget.

Plus even if one did die, there'd be no hearse involved. 6 of his friends would put on sleeping caps and burlap boots and carry him to a field in a glass box. Hi, Ho.

EnJoY!

Aziz Ansari Loves R. Kelly

Aziz Ansari delivers, what I believe to be one of the best stories EVER told about the greatest concert he's EVER seen. This clip is straight off Aziz's first Stand Up album "Intimate Moments For A Sensual Evening" - a definite recommendation, it's an absolute laugh riot from the get go... R.Kelly is a goddamn walking tragedy. How's he still rich? I thought he pissed all his money away...gufffffaw...

Laugh Now. Pee on 15 year olds Later.

Patton Oswalt Clip From "My Weakness Is Strong"

Patton Oswalt is a frumpy little leprechaun...but he's funny so I'll cut him some slack for breaking into my house and lifting my Lucky Charms... This is a clip from his 2009 Comedy Central Special "My Weakness Is Strong", where he talks about the ridiculousness of texting and hopes his daughter inherits NONE of his traits whatsoever...As do I.

LAUGH NOW!

Demetri Martin Clip From "These Are Jokes"

A straight up funnyfied clip from Dimitri Martin's 2006 Comedy Central Stand Up Special: "These Are Jokes"...A real knee slapper... I'll forgive him for looking like the product of a jimmy-less one nighter between John Lennon and Anne Frank...

j/k j/k j/k We love you D.M.

Enjoy!

Whitney Cummings On Jay Leno 8/30/2010

Just watching this ensured the fact that i'll be having another round of Whitney Cummings wet dreams this week... Love isn't just a battlefield, it's also 5 trips to the laundromat in as many days...