Dave Thomason

Dave Thomason delves into the wonderous world of Axe Body Spray. Funny fuckin' bit, I gotta say. But I don't understand why everyone hates on Axe.

People think its the epitome of douchebaggery to spray your torso down with this shit. Well, you know what it smells like?...COLOGNE. And people give that fucking gift year in and year out. Cologne is one of the classier products on the market today, and for the past 100 years for that matter. Other than extra-fine authentic gold chest hair plugs, and medeival-quality silver cock rings, I contest there is no classier product that screams "upper echelon" quite like cologne does.

It's the same goddamn thing. So leave us Axe users alone. Sometimes we need a sweet scent in a pinch and Axe aerosol has always been there. Double pits to chesty 4 LIFE...Bitch.

Spray away!

Chad Daniels Drunk Red Neck

HAHA. Chad Daniels deals with drunk red necks. No shit. What an obvious red neck describer. It's the only one. What other type of red necks are there? Nutritionist Red Necks? Heart Healthy Red Necks? Philanthropist Red Necks? Astronaut Red Necks? Cancer Curing Red Necks?

ENJOY!

Tom Rhodes Midget Cruiser

Good Ol' Tommy Rhodes. Guy's the tits. Really funny dude. He seems to think a PT Cruiser is a midget hearse. Loophole alert: Midgets don't die. I've never even heard of a midget death. They're like gnomes, they live for ever. What could go wrong in such a small body...All medical complications are contained, like a crib for disease. It's safe in there.

Due to a shifty size differential, you'd miss if you tried to shoot a midget, miss if you tried to swing a baseball bat at a midget, and miss if you tried to roll a boulder at a midget.

Plus even if one did die, there'd be no hearse involved. 6 of his friends would put on sleeping caps and burlap boots and carry him to a field in a glass box. Hi, Ho.

EnJoY!